Viliami Finau

When joining the Peace Corps you are expecting to have experiences and adventures that will stay with you for the rest of your life and even change the way you think about certain things in this world. You are expecting to make an impact in the lives of the people you are being sent to help, that you will forever be remembered. In the end, however, you always end up leaving with the feeling that they made a larger impact in your life than you would ever be able to make in theirs. When your two years is over, you get on the plane to head back home and your Peace Corps experience is just that, an experience. You arrive back in the US and decide what you are going to do with you life now. Your Peace Corps service becomes a small part of who you are, but mainly becomes some of the stories you share at dinner parties, reunions or during the holidays about all the crazy things you have done and seen.

On April 17^th, 2010 at about 5:30 in the evening, my “Peace Corps experience” dramatically changed to real life in a matter of seconds with just a phone call. A phone call I hope that none of you will ever have to receive. My boyfriend’s sister called to tell me that he died during his rugby game. Not wanting to believe it herself, knowing we were inseparable, kept asking where he was. It was the first time I was not able to attend one of his games. And even to this day I do not want to believe it is true, he might, just might, walk through the door at any moment.

Viliami Kapa ‘i Matangivale Finau was 25 years old, the youngest of 12 children, from the island of Tungua in Ha’apai; a very skilled spear fisherman, rugby player and coconut tree climber, a true free spirited, fun loving and light hearted island boy; studying General Engineering at the Tonga Institute of Science and Technology, patiently preparing and planning to start a life and family with the love of his life.

Viliami returned to the island about a month after I arrived for my two year service. From the first moment I saw him I was intrigued by him: his personality, his care free spirit, his physique. I could tell he was unique and different from all the other guys I had met, here in Tonga and back in the US. The next day Pila came over to my house with his best friend, who I had already come to know, and invited me to go on a short boat ride to the other side of the island to get coconuts with his family. After that he took me on a horse ride through the village, along the beach and into the ocean, which turned into us going swimming – all the while trying really hard to speak in as much English as possible even though I could speak more Tongan than he could English.

Everyday after that, Pila would come over to talk and help me study Tongan, play cards and just hang out. Everything came so easy and natural with Viliami. From that first day we met, there was never a day we did not see each other or at the very least talk on the phone, many times a day, if one of us was traveling. We were literally inseparable. We spoke different languages from birth, though we communicated better than most born of the same language. Our extreme exotic differences in culture and way of living are what attracted us to each other. Our shared interest in each other’s way of life and culture and our ability to unconditionally love, accept and support each other is what allowed us to become so close so fast. Our understanding and love for each other grew stronger with every passing day. We grew together, learned from each other, helped and supported each other and just genuinely enjoyed doing everything with the other one at our side. Our relationship did cause some issues; many people here in Tonga could not understand why we were always together. They could not comprehend that this was not a crush, a fling, lust, just out of convenience or just because I was a palangi providing an opportunity for a better life – what we had was true unconditional love that transcended culture and language. All the challenges and hardships we encountered only provided us with opportunities to grow stronger and closer together.

Our time together was too short and I feel cheated. I am left here with many plans and promises that will never come to pass. But Pila has also left me here with his loving, caring and supportive family. I have so many words that I was never able to say to him, so many experiences and people that I will never be able to share with him. I do have a lot of wonderful memories, just not as many as I would have liked to have. It is difficult every minute of every day. I do not have any regrets about coming to Tonga, just regrets about taking moments for granted.

Before Viliami had met me on the island, all he lived for was to play rugby. When Pila died, he was doing something he loved very much. Viliami died from an injury to his neck that occurred during the scrum. For those of you who know nothing about rugby, like myself, that is the time when they are in a huddle pushing against the other team to try and get the ball. Pila was very skilled in rugby, fast and unnaturally strong – a true asset to his team.

A loss like this is difficult on its own, but being in a different culture, with different customs and speaking a different language has made it more difficult many times but also easier at times. Viliami’s parents and all of his brothers and sisters have been very supportive and have received me into their family with open loving arms. Without their love, support and acceptance I would not have been able to handle this loss in such a different culture.

Viliami Finau, ko koe pe si’eku ‘ofa mo’oni! I love you and miss you lahi ‘aupito. ‘Oku feingata’a lahi ‘aupito ‘aho katoa pe koe’uhi ‘oku ikai keu lava sio kia koe, talanoa mo koe, puke ho nima, fanongo ki ho leo, ongo’i ho’o ‘ala pe ‘uma kia koe. I would have been honored to have been your wife and the mother of your children, like we had planned…

Ta'ahine Motu (Island Girl)

There are always random things that happen that actually are not that random to the Tongans, just to the only palangi (white person) on the island. Here are some pictures of those random events and some pictures of just island life.

As I walked outside of my house on my way to go to work at the primary school I see this beautiful rainbow over my neighbor’s house. This is actually the house of my Tongan family.

One day Viliami, my neighbor’s son, came over to my house from the bush with a coconut leaf weaved basket and asked me if he could cook something in my oven. So, naturally I ask, What? He opens up the basket and it is a small dead pig. Pigs stay in the village area because if they get into the bush area they will eat the root crops (the yams, taro, potatoes, etc.). So if a pig gets into the bush it automatically becomes property of the bush and if anyone catches it they can kill it and eat it. This is a mutually unspoken rule by everyone. So Pila (short for Viliami, don’t ask my how) Sinilau (my dog) and a couple other dogs from Pila’s house caught the pig. As I walked back into my kitchen, after giving him permission to cook the pig in my oven, I see this and just had to get a picture of it to share. Not something you ever expect to see happening in your kitchen.

Fai Fo!! Doing Laundry!! Tongans do their laundry outside but I just don’t like everyone watching me wash my dirty clothes. Apparently it is quite an amazing thing to watch a palangi wash their clothes by hand. And I wanted to share with you a little of how my house looks.

Here is my vegetable garden in the bush. The only way to be able to have vegetables on a more regular basis, and some vegetables that Tongans have never heard of. From the front of the picture moving back: lettuce, tomatoes, onions, squash, zucchini, broccoli, and more zucchini.

Fonu (sea turtle) Some men came back from fishing one morning with this huge sea turtle. It is one of the biggest turtles I have seen yet. The Tongans tell me that they have been bigger but only once. Yes, we ate it, but in Tonga it is not illegal.

The church that I attend has a 5am service every Sunday, Monday and Friday (not that I attend that service). One day their generator broke and they started asking to use my kerosene lantern to be able to have their service. Well the last time I was in Tongatapu I bought the church their own lantern. So during the next Sunday 10am service they had me come to the front and hold the lantern while it was blessed. But during all of this they never took it out of the box. When I took the lantern to the minister’s house, of course I gave it to him in the box. He opened it up and looked at it but never took it out, I did not really think too much about it at the time, and than put it in his office until Sunday for it to be blessed. When I walked into church that Sunday, I was very surprised to see that the lantern was still in the box and it was sitting on the front table. If I would have known they were not going to take it out of the box I would not have given it to them in the box.

If you remember in the picture I posted of the view I have from my house there was a boat upside down by the tree. Well the church that it belongs to got new materials, moved the boat to the church and rebuilt it. Here is the village moving the rebuilt boat back to the ocean.

One evening sitting outside of my house I heard some kittens crying. I followed the crying to three little new born kittens who’s eyes were not yet open, very cute. All that night and the next morning they were still crying. The mom had never returned and over the night a dog or a pig had eaten two of the kittens. So feeling bad I tried to help the third and last of the new born kittens but despite my attempts at trying to keep it alive it was not successful. Then one day my neighbor, Pila, came over with a kitten hanging from his shirt. Since he saw my trying to care for the little kitten he thought that I really wanted a new cat so he brought me one from his sister’s house. Not being able to tell him that I really didn’t want a cat, I accepted his gift. He decided to name it Cilantro…one time I returned from Tonga with some fresh cilantro I found at the market and made fresh salsa. So now I have a new little kitten that is a pain in the butt. It is the typical kitten, curious, nothing phases it, playful and always getting into trouble.

You've Got Mail

In today’s day and age a service that us, Americans don’t even have to think twice about. The internet and what we now call ‘snail mail’, is in our everyday life and occurs with as little effort as breathing. When I joined the Peace Corps and first moved to my island it still was something that I did not really give any thought to. Not because I was being naïve but rather it was just a service that you never really have to think much about, it just arrives, everyday. Mail….well mail just comes….somehow….right?? Something that is so basic and in our everyday lives, weather it be the little window that pops up at the bottom right side of your screen or the box you check when you get home from work, it just always occurs with little to no effort from ourselves….especially those bills we would rather not receive at all. Well…how DO you get mail when you live on a little island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean?? Let me explain….

The post office system here is a lot different, it is not run by the government it is a private organization. Not everyone here can receive mail. To get mail you have to buy a post office box, which does not sound that far fetched except for the fact that is a little difficult to obtain or maintain if you do not live on the main islands. But that is where family or friends comes in handy. But of course for us Peace Corps Volunteers it is a little easier for us. So, how it works for me…once the Peace Corps office receives a box for me they will give me a call and let me know that they will put it on the boat, Pulupaki, the next time it leaves. Once they pay to have to package taken to Tungua they give me a call to let me know which crew member will be taking care of the box.

So ideally when I head out to the boat when it arrives in Tungua I just find the crew member and he hands over my box. Yeah, well….not exactly!! Majority of the time my phone service does not work so I don’t really know that I have a package on the boat until I am sitting in my house working listening to the radio and an announcement comes for ‘Hina, Peace Corps in Tungua to get your box off the Pulupaki when it arrives in Tungua.’ Oh! Okay!! Or...when the boat arrives at 4am, in the dark morning, and you find the crew member who is supposed to be ‘taking care’ of my box really has no idea what I am talking about. So I just have to go find it myself. Which really is not at difficult as it might sound since Tongans don’t have boxes that are red, white and blue and say ‘US Post Office Service’.

So how exactly do we get out to the boat? Well that is a good question…there is no wharf on the island that the large boat is able to dock due to the coral reef around the entire island. So what happens is that when we see the boat arrive on the horizon we get into the little fishing boats and head out to the deep sea to meet the Pulupaki.
Technically, the boat does not ‘stop’ in Tungua. We are just in their path to Ha’afeva and the captain’s wife comes from our island, so we get a special ‘stop’. The reason I have quotes on ‘stop’ is because it is not really a real stop. The boat just stops its engines in the middle of their path and we only get 15 minutes. There are usually anywhere between 5 to 10 boats that head out to meet the boat. When the Pulupaki comes to a full stop they open the doors on the bottom deck and it is a race to get everything unloaded arriving from Tonga and reloading things to head up to other islands.
As you can see here, there are people that are getting onto the Pulupaki while someone else’s luggage is being passed down for someone who is coming to Tungua. Typically the boat leaves the capital island Nuku’alofa at 10pm and arrives in Tungua about 4 or 5am. In this picture the boat was off schedule, but usually all of this happens in the pitch black of night. So once I get my packages off the boat (just to put your minds at ease, I have always received all of my packages) and travel back to the island…I get to sit down and feel like it is Christmas morning. =)

One Can Make a Difference

It all started from one determined child. One day I was watching my neighbor's five year old granddaughter trying to write with a dried up marker on a piece of cardboard. As I was observing her I realized how much you could tell she had a desire to learn. So one afternoon I invited her over to my house to write, on paper with a working pencil. The next afternoon I heard a little voice calling out my name. I went outside to see who it was. It was my neighbor's determined granddaughter wanting to practice her writing. This went on for about 3 months.

Then some other community members got wind of this and saw how much this determined little child was progressing. Two different families had their five year old grandchild return from the main island to our isolated little island in the middle of the Pacific to come learn with the Peace Corps Volunteer. As time progressed three little girls turned into eight little boys and girls which quickly grew to 12. And what first started as simply writing in a notebook has progressed to a positive structured learning environment.

As of now, 13 boys and girls come running from all different directions, with pen and paper in hand, to come study at Hina's house for two hours everyday. Through a positive supportive environment, these children gain confidence and knowledge in the Tongan alphabet, numbers and colors in the midst of learning to listen, work together, being patient and sharing. And each day before class starts they practice some important basic hygiene habits of washing their hands and brushing their teeth. Thankfully, it all started from one determined child, who got the ball rolling.

I dedicated one wall in my house to the Kindergarten’s Calendar Time. Here is a picture of the children practicing their writing on their personal chalk boards. Thank you to Mojave Elementary for pulling together and donating some of their unused supplies. It is greatly appreciated and makes a huge difference in these children’s lives. Malo ‘Aupito!!

‘Apitanga (camp)

My church had a camp for the youth of the church and the village. The camp was for three days, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, where they talked about God, alcohol, marijuana, tobacco and sex. It think it is a great program is theory but it actuality I don’t know how big of an affect on the youth that attended. The reason that I say this is because during one session we were talking about marijuana and tobacco and as soon as the session was over almost all of the youth walked outside to smoke. All in all it was a fun weekend.

Group picture after the Sunday morning service. (Where’s the palangi? Are you able to find me?)

Of course after the Sunday service we had a kai pola (banquet) and during the time we eat people stand up and lea fakamalo, give a thank you speech. It is no one in specific just anyone who wants to stand up and say something.

So here is a picture of me giving my fakamalo.

Wisdom Fish Dies Today!

I am working in my house one evening when a little kid come over telling me that I needed to go take a picture of a fish the fishermen just can back with. So I grab my camera and follow the kid to where the fishermen were unloading their boat. Not quite sure what to expect yet knowing that it has to be something unusual for the fishermen to tell the kid to come get me. As the crowd of villagers part I see 6 men trying to pull this HUGE fish inland. As they finally get it inland and lay it down, I realize it is the fish from those stories when we were little. The big fish that imparted wisdom. It really looked like some pre-historic creature. I don't really know if these pictures do it justice.

The mouth was so big that a child could have sat inside of it. We acutally tried to get some of the kids to sit inside but they were all too scared. The man to the right, in the first picture, is the one who caught the fish. It was not meant for food but rather to sell. After they spend hours trying to cut this fish up into littler pieces to weigh it, working against the setting, it weighed in at 145 Kilos (320 lbs). And that was after they had removed all the insides, so acutally the fish was probably over 350 lbs. Now keep in mind, Tongans don't let anything go to waste, so all the insides were taken home and cleaned out. The things that were inside the stomach of this fish were absolutely amazing. It was the types of things the fishermen typically return with from the sea. There were lobsters, craps, sea turtles and a big porcupine fish among other fish.

No, they did not eat the things that was inside of the stomach, just the stomach itself.

'Uesiliana Church Conference

The 'Uesiliana Church has a conference each year at the end of June. It is a huge celebration. People from all the island groups come down to the main island Tongatapu and even people from New Zealand, Australia and America. The purpose of this conference is for all the leaders in each church, however, all the church members come to the conference to perform during the different masses that happen 3 times a day for two weeks.

This is the church where all the masses are held. It is huge inside with a big balcony, of course for the Sunday service is when it is most full. There is a picture of the second Sunday of the conference and you can see all the people outside because everywhere inside was all ready full. It was amazing at how many people were there.
Here is the other side of the church. If you look closely you can see that they set out rows of seats on the patio of the chruch as well as stadium seating just outside (the right side of the picture) and yet there were still people sitting on the ground everywhere you looked.
On Tuesday of the last week of the conference the District of Lulunga (5 islands - including Tungua) performed for everyone. Here is a group picture after the performance. The people wearing white were in the performance and the people wearing green were in the choir. I was in the choir, you can also see the married couple - Eric and Melanie from Ha'afeva the island one hour away from Tungua.

For two weeks straight, three times a day after each chruch service there is a kai pola (big feast). As you can see the line of table there are two rows like this and all the table are going to FULL of food.

And it is amazing at how much the Tongans will eat at each meal. You would think after a day or a couple of days of eating meals like this 3 times a day you would be sick. But not the Tongans, it is AMAZING!!!

Random Adventures and 'My Family'

Here is the family that has adopted me. Their last name is Finau (fee-now) and actually this is only about a quarter of them. They had 12 children 6 girls and 6 boys, however, one of the boys died when he was 4 years old. All of the girls are married and only the oldest boy is married. So in the picture: there is only 4 children of the 11, 1 spouse of the total 7, and only 7 grandchildren of the current 26.

From the left back: Melelose(daughter), Viliami (son, youngest of all 12 children), Pomana (father), Saane (mother), Melape (daughter), 'Edimoni (son, oldest of all the children), Mele (wife of 'Edimoni). Mele is holding their youngest child of 6, Tevita.

Front row from the right: Sivi and Kilisitina (children of 'Edimoni), 'Ana, Siulanga (children of different daughters not pictured), Lea'aengalu and Saane (children of Melape).

After the boys come home from the ocean it is time to clean up the fish for dinner. From left to right: Pomana, Saane, Viliami, Melelose, 'Edimoni, Mele and standing up in the back is Sioeli (one of the sons that has not been pictured yet).

Filimone, Sinilau and a tuna.

As some of you have heard how I have to get my mail, I thought I would post a picture for you to better understand. If you see in the background a bigger boat, that is the boat that comes from the main island, next you can see the little boats that we take out to meet the big boat, and in the foreground you can see an example of how most things get done in the island, jsut man power. We not only get mail off that big boat but anything else we need for the island. You can see Sioeli pushing a drum of gasoline onto the beach for the church generator.

Tokelau (son of one of the daughters) and Filimone holding a bat, yes, a bat!! I guess it some how got holes in it wings and was not able to fly back home. The kids saw it in the tree and decided to climb up the tree and get it.

Peka - bat or flying fox, technically

Some of you have heard that I have a cat and a dog so I thought that I would post a picture of them to share. They are not allowed into my bedroom since they play outside with all the other animals. So, one cold night, I was laying in bed reading a book and when I looked over to check on them I saw them sleeping like this. Too cute to resist, I had to take a picture of them. My cat's name is 'Ivi, which means energy, power, strength. My dog's name is Sinilau. The reason I named him this was because there is a story about Hina and Sinilau. Long story short, that was her boyfriend and later her husband. The people in my village would always ask me where is Sinilau, especially if they had seen me walking on the road with any of the male youth. So I decided to have a little fun and give this name to my dog. So now when they ask I just point to my dog. =D

Coconut Milk

As I am sure you can imagine living on a small trpical island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean there are a lot of coconuts and in turn we end up using the coconut milk in a lot of our cooking. So I thought I would show you guys how they make the coconut milk, and also a good way for you to get introduced to 'my family' here in Tungua.

First if you look to the right of the picture you will see a sharp stick. That is what they use to husk the coconut (take off the outside), you can see the outside parts on the round (sorry the picture is a little dark). In the picture you are see Saane (the mother), Viliami (the youngest son), and Tevita (the son of one of the daughters).

Now that the coconut has been romoved from the shell, Viliami opens up the coconut by hitting it with the muchete to let all the coconut water out.

After all the water has been drained out the coconut it is split in half and the meat of the coconut is shaved out of the coconut. The thing that Viliami is sitting on actually has a sharp serrated blade at the end. In this picture: The woman behind Viliami is one of his sisters, Melelose, and next to her are two of her children, first Tevita and than Kulisitofa (in English David and Christopher) which is holding my dog Sinilau. The women to the left of Viliami is his oldest brother's wife. And the two children are children of two of his sisters.

Here I am helping to shave the meat of the coconut. They let me do this every once in a while but they let me this time because they said my family would like to see a picture of me doing Tongan things. =)

Once all the coconuts are done being shaved now it is time to start squeezing out the milk. From the inside of the shell of the coconut Viliami has taken out the 'coconut hair' to use like a cloth to squeeze the shaved coconut meat.

You can see him packing in the shaved coconut meat. (Sorry the picture is really dark.)

And the last step is to squeeze out the coconut milk. You can see it running down his hands. You squeeze the coconut hair with the coconut meat inside just like you would squeeze out a dish towel. Once you have squeezed the milk out from all of the shaved coconut milk you are ready to start cooking. The main use of the coconut milk is to be used like of like oil or butter when boiling the root crops or fish. Just like of adds some flavor and fat to them. I will actually use all of this coconut milk to bake the banana breads for the Fakame celebration. It is used instead of butter or oil in the baked goods. =)

Fakame (Fa-ka-may)

There is no direct translation for the word fakame, so I will just have to explain to you what it is. It is a celebration, it is always the first Sunday in May. The purpose of the celebration is to celebrate the children. May is kind of like the family month. The first Sunday is for the children - Fakame, the second Sunday is for Mothers (just like in America) - Aho Fa'e, and the third Sunday is for Fathers - Aho Tamai. They only have a big celebration for Fakame and of course when I tell you there is a big celebration I mainly mean that there will just be a huge feast. So I made sure to take some pictures of all the preperation for the food. We actually started the evening before prepareing some of the food. There were a lot of animals to die for this celebration. They killed and gutted the goat and the pigs at night so I could not really take pictures of them. And besides it is not really exciting to see the dead animals hanging from the trees with the blood and guts, when it is pitch black out side. They hang the animals from the trees while they are preparing it because of all the dogs, cats, chickens, and pigs wondering around. And of course they don't really have a table big enough and clean enough to do it on. So needless to say it was very creepy and I just could not bring myself to take pictures of it. Anyways, in the morning we started preparing everything to be cooked in the 'umu (if you remember from previous posts, that is an inground oven).

Here is Mele (the wife to the oldest son in 'my family') preparing lu. The lu that she is cooking has fish, hopa (a type of banana, really sweet), and coconut milk. It is wrapped it in a banana leaf and cooked in the 'umu.

This is Viliami (the youngest son) preparing the pigs for the tunu (bbq).

There is a lot going on in this picture. In the background you can see the mother, Saane, covering the root crops with foil. The pile of meat you see on the palm tree leaves is their goat they killed the night before, than you can see the three pigs we will roast. The boy standing by the pigs, Filimone - he is the oldest son's son. Than you can see Viliami playing with the fire. He is acutally moving all the wood pieces to a different pit to cook the pigs and all that will remain in this pit will be the hot stones for the 'umu.

Now that all the burning wood has been removed, 'Edimoni (the oldest son), places' the goat meat on top of some wire, which is placed directly on the hot stones.

Next, Viliami and 'Edimoni place the lu on top of the goat meat.

Now 'Edimoni is placing banana leaves on top of everything.

You have to look closely but they have places a sheet of metal down and then another layer of banana leaves.

Over that Viliami and 'Edimoni placed about 3 or 4 blankets to help keep the heat in and now they are working on moving the mound of dirt on top of the blankets. And in the botton left corner you can see where all the burning wood was moved to to cook the pigs.

While everyone else was in church, and the children performed a play, Filimoni, Viliami and I tunu the pigs. So this is the view we had for three hours while spinning the pig.

When church was over and all the food was cooked we brought it over to the church hall. There were three other place settings like this one and a little later some more food was added to this one from one of the sisters. Now, remember this is just once church in my village. There are 6 churches for a village of about 200 people. We had enough food to be able to feed the entire village but only about 30 people or so came to this celebration.

Then after the evening church service we just had a light meal of bread and cakes. My family made two different kinds of bread and I made the banana bread. Six of them actually =)